How To Boost Your Leadership Skills

These 5 sales tactics can strengthen your abilities as a leader.

Years ago, when I was working in sales, one of my clients — a senior executive of a large financial services institution — took me aside and told me six words that had an enormous impact on me.

“All leaders,” he said, “should have sales experience.”

I’ve often thought about this throughout my years as a business development leader and as a leadership coach, and today those six words often come up when I’m coaching leaders.

Simply put, there are five fundamental sales skills that can strengthen your abilities as a leader.
They are:

1) Building positive relationships

2) Becoming a good storyteller

3) Asking questions

4) Developing listening skills

5) Learning humility.

In my work as a leadership coach I’ve noticed that all of my clients, who are struggling in some aspect of their career, need to improve one or more of these five crucial skills.

The good news is that with some time, effort, and coaching, it’s not hard to do.

And the even better news is that proficiency in those skills will spill over into your personal life, which in turn will strengthen your business success, and round and round it goes. Win-win-win!

It’s About Relationships

Whether we work from home or in an office environment, most of us spend at least eight hours a day relating to clients and colleagues in one way or another. For better or for worse, these folks are our community. Building a strong community not only feels good—our lives are easier when we like and respect the people we spend time with—it also reduces stress levels and is one of the key components of resilience. Research has shown time and time again that our ability to build and maintain social relationships is directly linked to resilience, which is our ability to handle pressure, to bounce back and move forward in the face of adversity.

Getting to know your clients and colleagues on a personal level can help to create a solid emotional connection. As a leader, when you take time to learn about your team members’ individual career aspirations, their children’s names, their likes and dislikes, this helps them feel understood and valued, and boosts their workplace engagement.

As a coach, I’ve heard too many leaders lamenting, “My closest ally at the company has left. I have to start all over again.” As the old proverb goes, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

You don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but do take the time to get to know a variety of people on a variety of levels.

Building relationships across the organization not only makes work a happier, more connected place for everyone, but it increases your influence: you’ll get work done faster and more effectively—and potentially have fun doing it. Encouraging your team members to strengthen their own relationships will have a “ripple effect”: it will boost their engagement and resilience, provide a multitude of resources to develop their learning, and help provide them with a big-picture view of the organization.

It may also take some pressure off you in terms of always being the main go-to person.

Ask: Who are the key stakeholders who influence and make decisions? What will it do for me, my team, and the company if I build these relationships? What is the best way to approach each person? What relationships can I suggest to my team for their success?

Become a Good Storyteller

Since the dawn of humanity, telling stories has been one of our most fundamental methods of communication. Stories bring people together, highlight our common challenges and values, and are a powerful way of connecting with others and exchanging information.

Think about a story, or perhaps a speech or a poem that captures your imagination. For me, Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream…” speech still sends shivers up my spine. There is such passion in his voice, so much power and hope in his words.

When I listen to that speech on YouTube, nothing else exists for me during those six minutes.

There’s a reason for this: emotionally charged  charged stories cause neurons in the brain to release dopamine (a “feel-good” chemical) into the system, making it rewarding for the listener to pay attention and remember the details.

Try using some storytelling skills during your next presentation or team meeting. Keep the story simple. Use metaphors and examples to explain your points. And most of all, be clear about the message that you are delivering: if you don’t know, your audience won’t know. Finally, practice. A good story can be shared over and over with different audiences.

Ask: Who tells good stories? What experience or story has inspired me and might inspire others? How can I put it together in a way that simplifies the message? With whom can I practice to get feedback and improve?

Ask Questions

An old Chinese proverb states, “He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.”

Many of us fear that asking questions makes us look foolish or ignorant. But questions are actually powerful tools for gathering information and fostering relationships. As a leader, asking questions of your team and your own leaders is key to understanding what is going on or the motivation behind a decision, or why something isn’t working. Thoughtful questions open up opportunities for dialogue, allowing you and your team to co-develop solutions, change what isn’t working, and continue what is working.

Creating an atmosphere where questions are encouraged is a critical tool in creating empowerment among employees and fostering self-knowledge, exploration, and understanding of approaches.

Avoid asking “Why?” questions—they can put people on the defensive. If you are about to ask “Why?” regulate your tone to influence or reframe it into a “How? or What?” question.

“Why did you do it that way?” suggests the person was wrong and you may not get the essence of a refreshing, new approach but simply a defensive, unproductive answer.
Instead ask: “What was your thought process in your approach?” This will bring to light the person’s way of thinking so you can influence development and change.

Beef up Your Listening Skills

Growing up in a boisterous family, I didn’t often get a chance to be heard. The upside of that is that I developed patient listening skills—and I continue to work at improving these skills.

Listening effectively and actively is not easy. It means being in the moment and shutting out everything else (e.g., that upcoming presentation, what your boss said to you this morning, or what you’re having for lunch). It means giving 100 percent of your focus to the person who is speaking.

Visualize an unstirred, clear glass of latte—the top is foamy, the middle is milky white, and the bottom is dark espresso. The top bit, the foam, is what we see on the surface. In a conversation, these are simply facts, what people often listen for in order to make quick assumptions to do the job.

Moving to the middle of our latte, the “thicker” bit is where the feelings or emotions are held. You can see and hear clues to this in a person’s tone of voice, body language, and facial expression.

Finally, the dark part of the latte represents the “deeper” part of the speaker: their values and beliefs, what really drives them—and what can become toxic if it’s out of step with the values of the team or the company.

Think of that imaginary latte next time you listen to someone speaking. Listen with your eyes as well as your ears, observing body language, facial expressions, the types of words and expressions the person uses, and the tone of their voice. You may be surprised at what you learn.

Ask: Open questions and then, be quiet. Listen. Consider repeating what you’ve heard to ensure understanding, and ask questions to probe for further understanding. And then be quiet. Listen.

Learn Humility: It’s Not All About You

The Oxford Dictionary’s definition of humility is “Having a modest…view of one’s importance.”

We all love to feel important, but being part of a smooth running team means being able to step back, resist taking setbacks personally, and respond to challenges with aplomb, maturity, and effectiveness.

This is especially true if you’re a team leader. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to just get things done—but it’s crucial to remember that your team members are humans too, with needs and worries of their own that may come into play when the heat is on. Keeping this in mind when you’re tempted to crack the whip will result in higher team engagement, increased productivity, and a calmer, more respectful work environment.

Some of the leaders who come to me for coaching are feeling anxious. This is not surprising, given today’s volatile workplace.

“Am I doing the right things?” they ask me. Am I doing enough? Not enough?”

Their internal saboteurs are aggressively at work. You don’t have to have all the answers. You may not always be right, and you may make errors from time to time. You’re only human. With some self-reflection and a bit of hard work, however, what you will have is a solid relationship with your team and colleagues and can co-share in responsibilities. You’re not alone.

Ask yourself: How does what I’m/my team is doing fit into the larger picture of the organization?

What are the skillsets and differences around me that I can tap into?

Ask Your Employee: What do you think is the best approach to this?

What’s worked well for you in the past? What resources do you need to get this done on time? How can I help you? How am I doing (as your manager)?

One last thing… Emotional Intelligence

One resource I frequently recommend to my clients is Daniel Goleman’s ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to understand oneself, observe and understand others, and then regulate emotions and experiences to influence outcomes, while remaining empathetic throughout. Goleman states that “90% of top performers have high EQ.”

Having EQ can make the difference between being a caring, authentic and effective leader and being someone who comes across as a bully or indifferent and ineffective.

-Originally published in CIM | Toronto Manager, Winter 2017 issue