5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
If you go from one day to the next feeling like you’re always faking it and never quite sure if you’re making it, you are not alone. A recent study found that a shocking number of women (79 percent!) lack confidence in the workplace.
Questioning yourself now and then isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, when your lack of confidence starts to negatively impact your work performance and personal life, something needs to change.
How to Authentically Build Your Confidence
The phrase “imposter syndrome” is often used to describe people who feel like they are a fraud. Somewhat ironically, it seems to affect high achievers who are constantly questioning their worth — even when they are outperforming others.
If you’re feeling more like an imposter than the qualified, experienced, professional woman that you are, you’re in the right place!
Here are 5 things you can do to authentically build your confidence.
1. Identify your doubts and fears
Putting a name to that icky feeling you get — the one that makes you feel like you don’t belong — is the first step to gaining confidence. What’s standing in your way? Maybe you’re worried you don’t have the right credentials. Or, you could be comparing yourself to a colleague who comes from a different background? Perhaps you’re concerned about what will happen if you don’t have all the answers.
Take some time to consider the sources of those feelings and write them down.
2. Come up with a game plan
Now that you know what’s holding you back, you can start to figure out a path toward self-confidence. For example, if you’re afraid of repercussions from not knowing the all the answers, maybe you’re working in a toxic environment and should start seeking out other career opportunities. If you genuinely (not coming from a place of fear) think adding credentials could help you do your job better, look into getting a certification. Having a plan will put you on the right path forward and give you a sense of control.
3. Own your accomplishments
Start a running list of all the things you have achieved in your life to date. This can include everything from industry awards to daily accomplishments, like keeping a client happy or getting your kids to school on time. Have a file to collect the positive feedback emails and comments you receive. Look at your list when you start to feel self-doubt creeping in.
4. Rewrite your narrative
What stories are you telling yourself about yourself? The National Science Foundation published a report in 2005 that found the people have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. 85% of those thoughts are negative. 95% of those thoughts are repeating the same thoughts from the day before. And it goes on… We tend to play the same stories over and over. Take moments throughout the day to step back, breathe, and be mindful of what your thoughts are telling you. Remember that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. The meditation and mindfulness app Headspace has a great take on this concept (see video below), and there are many more helpful videos on their website.
5. Say “NO”
Women tend to say “yes” to overwhelm, from taking on an extra project at work to signing up for the school bake sale. Before you agree to anything, ask yourself, to quote Marie Kondo, Will this spark joy?
Say yes to the things that will (if you realistically have time, of course) and “no, thanks” to those that won’t. We do not need to burn ourselves out trying to be all things to all people. This only builds resentment and that’s not good for anyone. I’ve found that taking time out from the busyness has far more benefits than if I had chosen to stretch myself too thin.
Desperately Seeking Self-Confidence?
I can promise you that you aren’t alone. I work with strong women all the time who feel like they’re failing — even when on the surface it seems they are leading very successful lives.
There is a way to manage your negative thoughts and boost your confidence. Let’s find out what will work for you.
Schedule time with me to learn more about my executive coaching options.
